I'm Back...

After a long break called summer where my actual life got in the way of me blogging about my life I'm officially back. I was going to start this post with humorous stories about my children and life, per usual, but today my heart continues to pull me to Sept. 11, 2001. This day is forever etched into my heart as it is with most, hopefully all, people who lived through that horrific day and are continuing to deal with the aftermath.

In 2001 I was a senior in college. I lived with two of my best friends and my biggest worry was if I could find a twenty to buy drinks with on a Friday night. All of my life I had felt the US was a nation in an untouchable bubble, we were immune to the atrocities in happening all over the world simply because we were us. On the morning of September 11 all of my naivete went away. I vividly remember waking up to the radio and hearing the first tower had been hit. At first I thought it must have been a small plane and that it was nothing, then I stumbled down the stairs, turned on the Today Show and reality set in. The United States was being attacked. I was in complete shock. I was glued to the news that entire day, I watched the second tower get hit, people running from the buildings, and both towers falling. Never in my life have I felt so helpless and scared. I wanted to help, but didn't know what to do. Eventually I forgot all my classes and drove home. As most people did that day I had a deep need to be around those I loved, to see them with my own eyes and thank God they were safe. My heart continues to be filled with grief for all of those who lost loved ones on that day.

September 11, 2001 forever changed the world and it's ripple effect continues and will continue through generations. The day after we brought J home from the hospital US troops invaded Iraq. My daughter knew two days of life without war. A and S have never known a time with out it. My children will never get to experience the joy of a tearful reunion at the gate of an airport. They will never be able to travel to other countries without going through heavy security with passports. They will know and understand what terror threat levels are. They will understand the importance of the armed forces and those who unselfishly give to protect our way of life. They will know the US does not reside in an impenetrable bubble.

Despite all of these changes I still feel blessed to live in the United States and live the life I lead. Everyday I look into the eyes of my children and I see hope, hope for a better day, hope that one person can make a difference, and hope that all the deaths on that day were not in vain. Despite that actions of terrorist hope is still alive in the world. I pray that will never change.

"All the great spiritual leaders in history were people of hope. Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Jesus, Rumi, Gandhi, and Dorothy Day all lived with a promise in their hearts that guided them toward the future without the need to know exactly what it would look like. Let's live with hope." - Henri J. Nouwen