A Grandma's Advice

For reasons unknown my thought have been drifting to my Grandma Hamper lately. Grandma has a tendency to pop into my head when I'm having a particularly challenging parenting time, and let me tell you S has been a doosy lately! Grandma always gave me great advice on child rearing and life in general. Although it is hard to pick the best thing she ever said to me, what she told me the day before my wedding is definitely a front runner. Here's the story:

My grandma and I were at the church preparing for my rehearsal. Now I think Grandma was slightly worried about me given that I was so young, 22, and the fact that I was pregnant. (If you really want you could figure out my age with that information) I know my grandma adored R and was very happy for both of us, but she still was my grandma and grandma was nothing if not a realist. So anyway, Grandma and I are sitting in the church, me in all of my pre-wedding glory and Grandma filled with all of her life experience ready to impart some wisdom on me.

She turned and looked at me and said, "Laura, do you really want to marry R?" This, of course, was an easy yes for me.

Grandma in all seriousness said, "Good, then before you get married I want you to categorize all of his faults." At this point I'm thinking, "Whaaa? Why would I want to think of all of the faults of my future husband right before my wedding?" Believe me I knew there were faults there, we had been together for six years, but I just didn't want to focus on them!

Grandma continued, oblivious to what was happening in my head,"You need to think of all of his faults, decided if you can live with them, and then forget them all. You will never be able to change R and you need to accept that now if you want to love him for the rest of your life."

This advice time and again has been proven true. I did what Grandma said and attempted to forget what I perceived as R's faults. In the six years we have been married I have not changed my husband and I don't even attempt to fool myself that I ever will. Believe me, the fault are still there but, thanks to Grandma, I accepted that they are going to be around for the rest of our lives and I love him anyway.

All of you spring brides/newlyweds take heed, Grandma was married for over fifty years, I think she knew what she was talking about.