It's the Small Stuff

Sometimes it is the small moments and milestones in life that remind me just how fleeting childhood is. Today J was struggling to try to tie her own shoes, for some unknown reason she had it in her head that this was a skill she had to learn today. Before leaving for a friend's house, we spent twenty tearful minutes attempting to tie with no avail. Then, finally, when we were leaving the friend's she struck gold, she tied her shoe by herself. While I was giving her a big hug I started become teary eyed, it hit me, she is growing up.

I have no idea why tying a shoe was a trigger for me. All of a sudden I thought, "If my baby can tie her shoes she is that much more independent, soon she won't need me to do anything for her anymore." In that moment it seemed to me as if the act of tying shoes was a catalyst to adulthood.

Logically I know J is not going to wake up as a sixteen year old tomorrow because she can tie her own sneakers, but the small moments and triumphs in my children's lives are steps to their becoming adults. Tying shoes is a small step in the staircase, but it is a step. I was so proud of J for accomplishing a goal, but I was selfishly sad for myself. There are times, like tonight, when I just want to hold them tight to keep them from changing. In those moments I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I have only enjoyed J, A, and S more as they have grown. If the pattern holds true, the new milestones will lead to good things and new ways for me to appreciate my kids. My children are growing up and while sometimes it is sad for me, I thank God that I am here to watch, and enjoy, them walking up their staircase.